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Best Cartoon Ever   
05:13pm 09/03/2007
 

I wish I had Cab Calloway's shoes.
 
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Cinco De Mayo   
07:56pm 10/04/2006
 
mood: contemplative
I've been considering the idea of throwing a Cinco De Mayo party at Bear Creek in one of the pavillions. The food would probably be catered by Taco Bell(or by me if I feel like it) and of course, there would be a gaudy, abstract pinata. Let me know if this sounds interesting.
 
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AZN Invasion   
01:04pm 02/04/2006
 
mood: contemplative
I applied at the Lucky House Restaurant near Langham Creek today. It was one of the most intimidating asian experiences I've ever had.

Firstly, the manager(as I assume he was), didn't speak english. The cashier did however(though it was very broken). There were a couple of asian kids who sort of translated for me. They gave me an up front interview, and no application. It didn't seem to matter to them if I was a convicted felon or not, as long as I could work four days a week after school. They then proceeded to ask me if I could start as early as tomorrow, and I answered simply, "possibly".

I have a feeling that this job is much more then waiting on a few massive-hipped surban housewives who come in for an ethnic way to ruin their weight watchers plan. The restaurant was pretty barren from what I could see, and everyone who came in hurriedly asked for take out and then made a mad dash for the door upon recieving their lo-mein and spring rolls. I think I've just applied to be part of the Chinese mafia.
I'm still deciding whether or not I should accept the job, should they call. The hours are pretty lenient, and it's not as if I'd have to be doing anything. They hardly ever have any customers. Four days a week really isn't that bad either.
 
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07:27pm 15/03/2006
 
mood: cheerful
Yesterday: Recieved driver's license
Today: Drove to Walmart, solo

Amazing. Truly.
 
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BRAGGING   
08:36pm 23/01/2006
 
mood: chipper
So today Mr. Fullen suggested that I enter this National Scriptwriting Competition to get Ridondo published. I guess that would make me an offical playwright? Fuck yeah it would...
 
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Sweet Sixteen   
08:44pm 09/01/2006
 
mood: ecstatic
Yay, 16 years of thriving. If I was dog, I'd probably be developing heart worms by this age.


Which reminds me of this Vet I used to go to that had a preserved dog heart in jar that had been infested with worms.

I haven't decided yet if I'm going to have a party. I guess I'll post something later for anyone who cares about it.

Oh, and thanks to everyone who made my day special!
 
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BUDDHABUDDHABUDDHA   
08:16pm 16/12/2005
 
mood: bouncy
I didn't have to go to skool today!!!

Instead I stayed home and watched the Barbie Nutcracker, and then I laid down infront of the fireplace(which did have a fire going) and gazed at the blazing inferno blankly without much thought circulating in my head. I began to realize what life must be like everyday for my dog. And since no one else was home I kept hearing creepy noises. But I kind of prefer my house that way.


Oh, and I'm directing a play(that I wrote). It was sort of a stroke of pure luck, but I'm doing it nonetheless. It should be pretty "epic", but I won't go much further then that plot-wise. I'd rather it be criticized and made fun of on the night of the play rather then before.(I'm including a clip of Rhapsody's Gargoyles, Angels of Darkness in it, so that should give some insight as to how epic it really is)

Matt, the love of my life and I attempted to play with action figures. Alas, it will never be the same as it was that 8 years ago.


Done.
 
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Lime green lime green and tangerine   
07:02pm 06/12/2005
 
mood: confused
So no hard feelings on my part about the gift exchange thing.







I'm sure you all are the type of people that would forwardly let someone know when you don't like them, rather then through exclusion.
 
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08:18am 04/12/2005
 
mood: devious
The Amon Amarth concert would have been so much cooler if we would have seen Amon Amarth. I guess one of us had the chance to, but Matt was considerate enough to sell his ticket so it wouldn't have been an unfair draw.(And so I wouldn't be left shivering in the cold, surrounded by dorky metal kids and cigarette smoke.)
The experience really wasn't all that pleasant. It only really lightened up when Matt and I were figuring out the way back home.
Next time I go to a Metal concert, I'm buying my tickets in advance. Oh, and I'm only going to see the band that I had planned to see originally. Children Of Bodom wasn't all that bad, but it gets pretty frightening when you're surrounded by mexigoths and 80's whores and you don't really know how to act(dance and whatnot) appropriately. I actually got punched in the shoulder by some guy passing me. It happened so fast, I couldn't react in time to actually have seen his face and seek revenge. It was a really strange night all-in-all.
 
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Butterflies in my stomach? More like huge tapeworms devouring my intestines   
06:15pm 01/12/2005
 
mood: worried
Final driving test in 58 minutes as of 6:17pm, December 1st, 2005.

I'm really, really, really, fuckin' worried and I'm not really, entirely, one hundred percent All-American-beef-sure as to why.

Everyone tells me it's really easy.(Ben even got away with running a red light!) But I guess I'm just nervous about the instructor watching me and continously commenting on what I'm doing wrong. Or even worse, being completely silent and writing incomprehensibly on his/her ugly, orange piece of grading paper.

I suppose the upside is that I can get my license Jan. 14th, five days following my birthday.(do the math yo'self) so, I guess it has to happen.

I hate this shit.
 
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WANN KOMMT DIE FLUT   
05:26pm 23/10/2005
 
mood: high
Know what I didn't do this weekend? Go to fucking homecumming, that's what.
 
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THORNS AND ROSES THATS HOW OUR LOVE IS WHOA WHOA   
02:25pm 09/08/2005
 
mood: jubilant
Yesterday I went to the dentist and I had like 10 cavities. And by 10 I mean like four or five. My teeth were also pretty yellow because I didn't brush as much as I should and I used to be a Smokey McSmokesalot. So I was there for a grand total of 2 hours getting my teeth de-yellowed and filled. Half of my face was numb afterwards, and I was drooling uncontrollably.

So, here's before:



And after:



So, school tomorrow, eh guys? I don't know about you, but I'm NOT FUCKING READY. 10th grade is just like 9th grade but with slightly older kids who are even more dumb then they previously were. The attitude basicly is, "Hey, it's 10 grade. It doesn't matter, I don't need to worry about my grades until NEXT YEAR B/C I'M SOOOOOOO FUCKING COOL"



PS I love Matt sooooooooooooooooooo much more than I love Jello.
 
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QUEEEE   
09:46pm 04/08/2005
 
mood: touched
So I had this dream in which I was on the side of the road watching this school bus. It was on this old country road, with a lot of trees. Anyway, the bus was quickly pulling away from it's stop, and this truck drove up. On top of the truck there was this strange kid named Ian I used to know in 8th grade. He was really tall, had acne and braces. And greasy brown hair. His mom was driving really fast towards the bus, as if he was afraid he was going to miss it. So he jumped off the truck towards the bus, but instead hit the ground. Whereas some people would roll, he hit it with the same force as if he was falling off a 10 story building. He landed hard, his eyeballs shooting out of their sockets, and his arms and legs breaking off instantly as if they were stale pretzels. The bus stopped, and everyone ran over to him. I remember trying to look away, but I couldn't. They turned him over, and there was a big hole in his chest where his heart was. I could see his ribcage within the hole, as well as the red of his lungs. Strangely, there was no blood.

Later in the dream I was at the Academy Awards, and I decided to leave my dressing room and go swimming in the pool outside. I was swimming in this really, beautiful, big pool and there was a fat black kid on the side watching me. Then I went back to my dressing room and put my dress out to dry. When I came back, it was gone and I figured out that Debra Ducan had stolen it and worn it on stage.

Then I woke up and went pee.
 
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The forces in the world are against me   
07:45am 28/07/2005
 
mood: hot
As for this whole issue of "everyone getting a job at Subway, and by everyone I mean Matt and Zach", I have to say that I don't quite approve. Know why? Know why?

Because the other day some guy put vinegar and oil on my perfect turkey, lettuce, pickles, black olives, and mustard sandwich. It was the one sandwich that I had been anticipating for most of the week. I only get Subway once a week. And some guy ruined that for me. Who puts oil and vinegar on a sandwich anyway? Fucking oil and vinegar! Oil and vinegar is for fish and chips, and Long John Silver's, not perfect sandwiches. It tasted repulsive, I could not bring myself to consume it.
So, in conclusion, I have decided I don't trust Subway. They are only trying to spite me, and I know that as soon as anyone else puts that stupid "Sandwich Artist" hat on their head, they will feel an unquenchable desire to spite me as well with the fucking oil and vinegar. I don't doubt that next time I walk in to a Subway, some 19 year old "Sandwich Artist" will jump on to the sneeze guard, and squeeze the entire contents of the vingar and oil bottles in my direction, forcing me to leave the store. As soon as I run out shrieking in pain and disgust, doused with the liqiuds of Satan, he'll highfive the sandwich-vegetable guy next to him as the manager says, "Good work son. You're getting a raise."

But besides Subway, have you ever noticed how some black girls will braid their hair, but their hair is so short that it makes the braid look like the back of their head is pooping? Has anyone else noticed this? Am I alone?
 
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Video Gammezzz   
10:37am 22/07/2005
 
mood: cheerful
Sonic Heroes is pretty lame. Mainly because I can't beat my 9 year old sister at it.

What else is lame is that there aren't any cheat codes to unlock the characters in Super Smash Bros. Melee.

What still is lame is that I can't beat the 7th star on Katamari Damacy.


What continues to be the lamest is that I have to see my grandparents this whole weekend.

Wait. That's not a video game.


Oh well. Might as well be.
 
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08:29am 16/07/2005
 
mood: ditzy
I'm offically no longer a "Harry-Potter-opening" virgin. It really wasn't a matter of getting the book(though I did anyway for my sister and father who're apparently not hardcore enough to stay up until 1 a.m. waiting) it was the thrill of wearing Star Wars costumes amoung the repetitive clones of Harry Potter. There was another Jedi there. That was pretty cool.
None the less, there was an abundancy of obnoxious Star Wars fans that kept wanting our picture.(Matt was Palpatine and I was Darth Vader) So we went to his house around 11:30 and came back, disrobed of our costumes just to wait another hour or so for a book I didn't really want.
Anyway, I got my book, went home, and read the two beginning chapters as well as the very last pages. From what I've read, the outcome is very typical and disappointing. I doubt anyone will anyway, but if you plan on buying it, wait until it goes on sale at Half-Price Books for five cents each.
I also saw Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. I think it was much more worthy of the money spent.

On a final note, Happy 16th Birthday to Zachary Shulte.
 
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10:47am 08/07/2005
 
mood: devious
So, after hearing about "The White Mice" and seeing the pictures of the stage performance, I decided to download some of their MP3's. So far, I've gotten "I saw Santa Kissing Mommy's Balls" and "Worship Cheesus". In short, they sound pretty cool and I'm definitely considering purchasing an album.

But I think what most intruiged me were the blood-stained mice head pieces.

Oh yeah, and I got to drive the longest that I ever have before. Down the length of Queenston that is. It was amazing.
 
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THE BRITISH ARE COMING   
03:41pm 04/07/2005
 
mood: pissed off
I leave for one night, and my ass-head, rednecked, drunk neighbors decide to shoot fireworks at my house...


 I fucking hate it when people have absolutley no consideration for other's properties. I could understand it if it was adolescent boys, but these were fucking adults with children, no less. What a fucking wonderful role model.
It makes me want to pick up all the discarded dog shit from my backyard, perhaps even some of my own scat, and leave it flaming in a bag on each of their doorsteps with "Here's your fucking firework, dick" scribbled across in permanent marker.
Then, I'll go buy some bottlerockets of my own, stand on their driveway, and shoot it directly at their front door.

But then I remind myself that it's not worth the firework money, and definetly not worth the effort of straining out the scatological "present" I would leave for them to step in.

I've hated all of them for quite sometime, particularly because they maintain their own private red-neck clique and converse with one another in a small huddle on their driveway. They're racist dickwads with the intellegence capacity of pond scum. My mom has attempted repeatedly to be kind to them, and they continue to ignore her and treat her like she's not of the same "value" as they are. Maybe it's because she doesn't want to burn a cross on the lawn of the Jordanian family across the way from us.

So far my method of revenge was picking up the firework butts on our front lawn and tossing them on the driveways of the families responsible screaming, "FUCK YOU, CUNT!!!"
Unfortunately, none of them heard. Or if they did, I hope they're huddling on their kitchen floor, cradling their hunting shot gun close to their flabby, hairy chests. My sister's friends claimed that the firework remains were blown over by the wind.

Wind, my ass. 6 fireworks were not just BLOWN OVER by accident. They probably threatened to skin the children and hang their carcasses on the walls if they didn't cover for them.
 
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Taking the risk of being cliche(wish I had an accent)   
04:06pm 30/06/2005
 
mood: busy

SSSSSEEEERRRVAAAYYYYCollapse )
 
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The Most Wonderful Inventions Known to Man-Kind   
09:09am 29/06/2005
 
mood: satisfied
  Dragon Tales is the greatest thing since Carebears.


Rice Krispies are the greatest thing since ever.
 
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